I bought a ticket to the world.

I hate job apps that ask “Why do you want to work here?”

I just want to answer, “Because I need money.” 

But then I provide some fake answer about how I think it’s a great company blah blah blah more bull shit etc. 

plasticbagvevo:

"talk dirty to me"

image

I was searching for and applying to jobs and then next thing I knew, I was looking up vacations in Hawaii. 

elhajjmalik:

I’m just sayin’ I got them real history jokes.

elhajjmalik:

I’m just sayin’ I got them real history jokes.

anthonymac:

heyfunniest:

My motto.

Are they not the same thing?

anthonymac:

heyfunniest:

My motto.

Are they not the same thing?

rutaskadis:

one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’

no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty

fuckmegentlywapumpkinspicelatte:

when people are like

"omg we cant say anything nowadays without offending someone!!"

all i hear is:

"im too lazy to change a few words when i’m talking and full enough of myself to think my minor effort trumps the terrible life experiences of oppressed people"

Don’t be slutty, don’t have sex. But be sexy. If you’re too sexy though and you get raped, then that’s your own fault because you’re not actually supposed to listen to us about being sexy, even though we tell you your value is derived from how sexy you are. If you get into a position of power, we will assume that you used your sex appeal to get there and not your brains and we will mock you even though we told you the only thing that mattered was your sex appeal. Make yourself accessible to us, but holy shit stop being so desperate and needy. Don’t be a tease. If we want to have sex with you, don’t friendzone us, even though we just fucking told you not to have sex.
patriarchy proverb (via stfueverything)
Men and women differ in their language patterns; for example, research suggests that men interrupt women more than women do men (a finding that surprises most men but not most women).

Analyzing English Grammar,  Klammer, Schulz, & Della Volpe, p. 21

you guys my grammar book is sassy

(via lattaite)

But I would also emphasize that no man is BORN with a greater tendency toward interrupting women when they speak, nor is any woman born with innate shyness. This is all taught.

(via sanityscraps)

and omg if you interrupt a d00dbro, be prepared to feel the wrath of his male tears

(via stfueverything)

"Everybody is clever, just in their own ways" - Matt Groening

"Everybody is clever, just in their own ways" - Matt Groening

trencly:

tips on how to properly enter my room:

  1. do not